Negotiating for Wimps

How to ask for what you want -- and get it. Eleven tips for the confrontation-shy.

So if you’re like me—a negotiating sissy—here are a few ways to make negotiating a little less stressful, a little more fun, and a lot more successful:

1. Make the first bid. People hate to go first if only because going first might mean missing out on an opportunity: "If I quote a price of $5,000,” the thinking goes, “and he would have happily paid $7,000, I leave money on the table.” In the real world, that rarely happens, because the other person almost always has a reasonable understanding of value.
So set an anchor with your first offer. (The value of an offer is highly influenced by the first relevant number—an anchor—that enters a negotiation. That anchor strongly influences the rest of the negotiation.)
Research shows that when a seller makes the first offer the final price is typically higher than if the buyer made the first offer. Why? The buyer's first offer will always be low. That sets a lower anchor. In negotiations, anchors matter.
If you’re buying, be first and start the bidding low. If you’re selling, start the bidding high.
2. Use silence as a tool. Most of us talk a lot when we’re nervous, but when we talk a lot, we miss a lot.
If you make an offer and the seller says, "That is way too low," don't respond right away. Sit tight. The seller will start talking in order to fill the silence. Maybe he’ll list reasons why your offer is too low. Maybe he’ll share why he needs to make a deal so quickly. Most of the time the seller will fill the silence with useful information—information you would never have learned if you were speaking.
Listen and think more than you speak. When you do speak, ask open-ended questions. You can't meet in the middle, much less on your side of the middle, unless you know what other people really need.
Be quiet. They’ll tell you.
3. Expect the best. High expectations typically lead to high outcomes. Always go into the negotiation assuming you can get what you want. Always assume you can make a deal on your terms.
You can't receive if you don't ask. Always ask.
4. Never set a range. People love to ask for ballpark figures. Don’t provide them; ballpark figures set anchors, too.
For example, don’t say, "My guess is the cost will be somewhere between $500 and $1,0000." The buyer will naturally want the final cost to be as close to $500 as possible—even if what you are eventually asked to provide should cost well over $1,000.
Never provide an estimate when you don’t have enough information. Keep asking questions instead.
5. Concede for a reason. Say a buyer asks you to cut your price. Always get something in return by taking something off the table. Every price reduction or increase in value should involve a trade-off of some kind.
Follow the same logic if you are the buyer. When you make a second offer, always ask for something else in return for that higher price. And if you expect the negotiations to drag on, feel free to ask for things you don't really want so you can concede them later.
6. Never negotiate alone. While you probably do have the final word, being the ultimate decision-maker can leave you feeling cornered.
Always have a reason to step away and get a final okay from another person, even if that other person is just you.
It might feel wimpy to say, “I need to talk this over with a few people first,” but better to feel wimpy than to be pressured into a decision you don’t want to make.
7. Use time to your advantage. Even though you may hate everything about negotiating, never try to wrap a negotiation up as soon as possible just to be done with it. Haste always results in negotiation waste.
Plus there’s another advantage to going slowly. Even though money may never change hands, negotiations are still an investment in time. Most people don’t want to lose on their investments. The more time the other side puts in the more they will want to close the deal… and the more likely they will be to make concessions so they can close the deal.
While some people will walk away, most will hang in for much longer than you might think.
8. Ignore bold statements. Never assume everything you hear is true. The bolder the statement the more likely it is to be a negotiating tactic.
Strong statements are either a bullying tactic or a sign of insecurity. (Or, often, both.) If you feel intimidated, walk away. Otherwise, listen closely for what lies under all the bluster and posturing.
9. Give the other person room. You feel defensive when you feel trapped; so does the other party.
Push too hard and take away every option and the other person may have no choice but to walk away. You don't want that, because...
10. Don’t try to win. Negotiating isn’t a game to be won or lost. The best negotiation leaves both people feeling they received something of value. Don’t try to be a ruthless negotiator; you’re not built that way.
Instead, always try to…
11. Build a relationship. Never take too much from the table, and never leave too much. As you negotiate, always think about how what you say and do can help establish a long-term business relationship. A long-term relationship not only makes negotiating easier the next time, it also makes your business world a better place.

Stop Procrastinating - NOW!

It seems that no one is immune to the tendency to procrastinate. When someone asked Ernest Hemingway how to write a novel, his response was "First you defrost the refrigerator." But putting off tasks takes a big hit on our productivity, and psyche. Procrastination is not inevitable. Figuring out why you postpone work and then taking concrete steps to prevent it will help you get more done and feel good about yourself.

What the Experts Say
According to Ned Hallowell, a psychiatrist and the author of 12 books, including Driven to Distraction, delaying work is often a symptom of how busy you are. "We procrastinate because we all have too much to do," he says. And of course, we want to dodge things we don't like. "Many people procrastinate because they fear the drudgery or the difficulty of the task they are avoiding," says Teresa Amabile, the Edsel Bryant Ford Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School and coauthor of The Progress Principle. But, as you have likely learned, it doesn't pay to dawdle. "Putting it off doesn't make it go away. Getting it done does," says Hallowell. Here are five principles to follow next time you find yourself deferring important work.

1. Figure out what's holding you back
When you find yourself ignoring or delaying a task, ask yourself why. Hallowell points out that there are two types of tasks most often deferred:

• Something you don't like to do. This is the most common one. As Hallowell says, "You don't put off eating your favorite dessert."
• Something you don't know how to do. When you lack the necessary knowledge or are unsure of how to start a job, you are more likely to avoid it.

Once you've identified why you've put something off, you can break the cycle and prevent future bouts of procrastination.

2. Set deadlines for yourself
One of the simplest things you can do is create a schedule with clear due dates for each part of a task. "As soon as you get the project, chunk it down into a few manageable segments that you can complete in sequence," Amabile advises. Then, assign deadlines for each piece. "Put an appointment in your calendar to work on a small piece of the next segment each day to allow yourself to get it done a bit at a time," she says. These "small wins" make the work more manageable and contribute to your sense of progress. And achieving them is much easier than trying to barrel through a complex project.

Setting deadlines also makes sure the project doesn't get buried. For things that you are likely to put off, add reminders in your calendar or put a Post-It on your computer screen. Use whatever visual cues will ensure you don't avoid the project.

3. Increase the rewards
We often dally because the reward for doing a certain assignment is too far off. Regina Conti, an associate professor of psychology at Colgate University and an expert in motivation, provides the example of doing your taxes. "A person may want to complete their taxes to avoid the legal penalties of not doing so, but because those penalties are far in the future and the task is a boring one, they will not have much incentive to get started with the project," she says. To make a task feel more immediate, focus on short-term rewards, such as getting a refund. Or if there aren't any, insert your own. Treat yourself to a coffee break, or a quick chat with a co-worker once you've finished a task. You can also embed the reward into the task itself by making it more fun to do. Work with someone on a particularly difficult project or set up a game for yourself so that doing the task isn't so boring or onerous.

4. Involve others
One of the principles Hallowell often repeats in his work is "Never worry alone." If you don't know how to do something, ask for help. Turn to a trusted colleague or a friend for advice. Or, look for an example of the project you are working on to use as a starting point. "Others are a great source of extrinsic motivation," says Conti. Asking someone to review your work can spur you to get started knowing they will expect it. You can even enter an anti-procrastination pact with a co-worker: share what you are working on and hold each other accountable to set deadlines.

5. Get in the habit
"People throw up a hand and say 'I'm such a procrastinator' as if they have no control," says Hallowell. "You do have control over this and you'll be very proud when you change it." Hallowell says that he used to be a procrastinator but trained himself to stop. "I don't procrastinate at all now. I just do it," he says. There are immediate benefits when you start getting things done right away, and it's a habit you can cultivate. Amabile suggests tracking your improvement. "Spend just five minutes a day to note the progress you made, any setbacks you encountered, and what you might do the next day to enable further progress," she says. She recommends you do this in a work diary. Then see yourself, and talk about yourself with others, as someone who gets things done. "The most powerful event, for maintaining positive inner work life, is making progress in meaningful work," says Amabile.

Principles to Remember

Do:

• Identify which tasks you are most likely to put off
• Use deadlines to motivate you to get things done within a certain timeframe
• Reward yourself for reaching milestones

Don't:

• Call yourself a procrastinator as if it is an intrinsic part of who you are
• Tackle arduous tasks on your own — ask others to help you get over the hump
• Try to finish a project in one sitting — break it down into smaller, achievable chunks

Maintain Your Mental Well-Being

This week the US government revised the food pyramid — that diagram that's been with us for decades that is supposed to remind people how to eat well. The model needed a revision, and the new version, called Choose My Plate, is a big improvement.

However, there's a different epidemic happening out there that's getting less attention, perhaps because it is less obvious than the epidemic of obesity we're experiencing. It seems we may be entering an era of an epidemic of overwhelm. A time when too many people's mental well-being is being stretched through multi-tasking, fragmented attention and information overload.

The trouble is, we are short on simple, clear information about good mental habits. Few people know about what it takes to have optimum mental health, and the implications of being out of balance. It is not taught in schools, or discussed in business. The issue just isn't on the table. Businesses schedule time as if the brain had unlimited resources, as if we could focus well all day long. Every week I talk to an organization who says that their biggest problem is simply the overwhelm their people are feeling. Without good information about the mind and brain, we may be stretching ourselves in ways that may have bigger implications than poor eating habits.

This platter has seven essential mental activities necessary for optimum mental health in daily life. These seven daily activities make up the full set of 'mental nutrition' that your brain needs to function at it's best. By engaging regularly in each of these servings, you enable your brain to coordinate and balance its activities, which strengthens your brain's internal connections and your connections with other people.

The seven essential mental activities are:

Focus Time. When we closely focus on tasks in a goal-oriented way, taking on challenges that make deep connections in the brain.

Play Time. When we allow ourselves to be spontaneous or creative, playfully enjoying novel experiences, which helps make new connections in the brain.

Connecting Time. When we connect with other people, ideally in person, richly activating the brain's social circuitry.

Physical Time. When we move our bodies, aerobically if possible, which strengthens the brain in many ways.

Time In. When we quietly reflect internally, focusing on sensations, images, feelings and thoughts, helping to better integrate the brain.

Down Time. When we are non-focused, without any specific goal, and let our mind wander or simply relax, which helps our brain recharge.

Sleep Time. When we give the brain the rest it needs to consolidate learning and recover from the experiences of the day.

We're not suggesting a specific recipe for a healthy mind, as each individual is different, and our needs change over time too. And we're not suggesting that business suddenly changes everything and reorganized all of work. The point is to become aware of the full spectrum of essential mental activities, and just like with essential nutrients, make sure that at least every few days we are nudging the right ingredients into our mental diet.

Just like you wouldn't eat only pizza every day for days on end, we shouldn't just live on focus time and little sleep. Mental wellness is all about giving your brain lots of opportunities to develop in different ways. In organizations, from a practical perspective, this means allowing people to work from home more, to be more flexible, to give people more autonomy.

In short, it is important to eat well, and we applaud the new healthy eating plate. However as a society we are sorely lacking in good information about what it takes to have a healthy mind. We hope that the healthy mind platter creates an appetite for increasing awareness of what we put into our minds too.

Mistakes to Avoid before Selling your Business

Are you planning to sell your business in the next few years? Here are eight mistakes to avoid before calling it quits:

Mistake 1: Being boring

While it is true buyers like predictability, they also like growth. Set aside a small slice of money for experimenting on new things (product ideas, etc.). The BBC, for example, has a “gambling fund,” which it uses to fund experimental programs that fail the typical new program development testing cycle. It was through the gambling fund that the blockbuster t.v. show “The Office” received funding.

Mistake 2: Selling your product, not your business

A buyer will need to see that your company has a way of winning customers without you. Hire salespeople or invest in marketing so that your business is less reliant on you as a rainmaker. Start thinking of your business as your most important “product” and invest your sales energy in meeting with people who might buy your business, not your product.

Mistake 3: Staying married

Eighty-four-year-old Hugh Hefner told The New York Times last year, “If I sold it (Playboy Enterprises), my life would be over.” If you’re too emotionally connected to your business, it will be difficult to get the price you deserve and will leave you feeling as though you’ve lost a family member after the sale. Instead, slowly start cultivating interests (e.g., travel, another business idea, charity, etc.) outside of work to ease the transition.

Mistake 4: Using retirement income as the basis of your number

Succession planners will tell you to figure out how much income you want in retirement and make that the basis for calculating how much money you need to get from selling your business. The reality is, your business is worth what someone will pay for it and has nothing to do with how much you need to retire. You’ll likely be bored after selling your company, so after taking some time to decompress, travel and play, you’ll probably find yourself starting something new anyway.

Mistake 5: Not including survivor clauses in your contracts

Acquirers like to see that you have locked customers into long-term agreements, but if your customer contracts do not have a “survivor clause” to ensure they remain enforceable after a change in ownership of your company, they may be moot. Talk to a lawyer to make sure an acquirer will get the benefit of the contracts you’ve got with customers after you’re gone.

Mistake 6: Sharing equity with key employees

It’s tempting to use equity or options to retain employees you want to keep through the negotiation and sale of your company. However, you can achieve the same result with a simple “stay bonus,” which you offer key employees who remain with your company for a period of time after the sale. A stay bonus is a lot simpler to implement, doesn’t muddy your company’s capital structure and may end up costing you less in the long run.

Mistake 7: Leaving your team rudderless

A lot of big-personality founders set the tone for their business through their personal charisma, but if you want to sell your business, you need to make sure your company has a set of values independent of you. David Ogilvy handed out Russian dolls to his managers as a reminder of the perils of hiring successive layers of smaller and smaller people. Ogilvy sold his shares in his agency and retired to a castle in France, where he ultimately passed away, but the dolls live on in the hallways of Ogilvy offices as a reminder to managers to always hire people smarter than they are. Find a way to remind employees of your values when you’re not around.

Mistake 8: Not having a BATNA

Professional negotiators suggest having a best alternative to a negotiated agreement (BATNA) — that is, a plan B in case negotiations to sell your business stall. For example, if you’re planning to sell your business to a strategic buyer, also have a financial buyer keen to make an offer or a management team with the means to buy your business over time. That way, you’ll have more leverage when negotiations get dicey.

Have you ever sold a business? If so, what you would you do differently next time?

What if I've only been in business a short time, barely breaking even and want to sell?

We are receiving many calls from companies that have been in business for fewer than two years, and they would like help selling their companies. One of the first questions we ask is, “Is your business profitable?” The response is typically, ”We are breaking even.” or "We are getting there."

Not only is it difficult to find a buyer for a company that has a history of fewer than three years, but by not being profitable or not having at least $100,000 adjusted net makes it close to impossible. The owners of these young struggling companies typically also want to recoop their entire investment including working capital.

Think about it. If a buyer could get into a business that is making $100,000, and they are asking $265,000 versus one that is asking $265,000 and breaking even, which one would you choose?

It is too soon for that business owner to expect to be able to recuperate their investment. Our advice is to either raise more capital so that you can grow the company to a place where it is saleable or possibly bring on a partner who can do what the owner is obviously not doing well. If the owner decides to close their doors, they will still be on the hook for the property lease and any equipment leases that have been signed.

There is help out there. The Service Corp of Retired Executives (SCORE) or the Small Business Development Center (SBDC) offer free advice to business owners. They have offices in most major metro areas.

Be careful before jumping into business. It is safer to invest in an existing business with a history, customers, employees and cash flow versus starting from scratch. If there is nothing available on the market that interest you...WAIT. Be patient for the right one that will utilize your skills, interest and that will be able to help you reach your goals for your next career.